The evening prior to our departure for vacation. My Wife and I talk in bed...
Out-Numbered - Are you excited for tomorrow?
Wife - Totally. Are you?
Out-Numbered - Absolutely. I just feel like I still have a shit load of stuff to get done.
Wife - Like what? We've packed everything.
Out-Numbered - I still have to cut my toenails. I think I actually ripped a hole in my sock today.
Wife - That's pleasant.
Out-Numbered - Remember, I need your help either tonight or in the morning before we leave.
Wife - Help with what?
Out-Numbered - I need you to shave my shoulders and my back.
Wife - Come on. You're a guy. You're allowed to have a little hair.
Out-Numbered - No way. It's fucking disgusting. You said you would do it.
Wife - Fine. Let's do it now. I don't want to miss our flight because I was shaving your back.
Out-Numbered - Thank you.
Wife - Get in the shower. I'll be right there.
Out-Numbered - Did you just fart?
Wife - I can't help it. I've been so gassy lately.
Out-Numbered - Jesus. It smells like a pet store in here.
Wife - Stop it.
Out-Numbered - You could have gone in another room.
Wife - Do you want me to shave your back or not?
Out-Numbered - Fine.
Wife - Hurry up and get in the shower.
Out-Numbered - I have to pee first.
Wife - I'm going to check on the girls. I'll be right back.
Out-Numbered - Ahhhhh! Dammit!
Wife - What happened?
Out-Numbered - I peed on my hand.
Wife - What the? How do you pee on your hand?
Out-Numbered - Oh man. I think I peed in the garbage can too.
Wife - You're like a friggin' Orangutan. Clean this up and GET IN THE SHOWER!
Standing naked in the shower. My wife lathers up my shoulders and back with shaving cream.
Out-Numbered - Be careful.
Wife - Now what?
Out-Numbered - I have a pimple on my back. Make sure you don't cut it.
Wife - I'm not gonna cut it. Hold still.
Out-Numbered - Hey.
Wife - What?
Out-Numbered - I'm naked.
Wife - I see that.
Out-Numbered - You wanna do it?
Wife - Are you fucking kidding me?
Out-Numbered - I Guess not?