I love Canada.
I love their beer.
I love their crazy policemen, that dress like the Nutcracker.
I even love Martin Short.
But today is different.
Today I must distance myself.
I must channel everything that is evil about Canada in order to vilify them in my mind.
I must think of Celine Deon and how she makes me want to rip my own face off. I must think of Avril Lavigne and how she makes me want to rip Celine Deon's face off. I will burn my Corey Haim DVD collection. I will throw away my Elvis Stojko autographed figure skates.
I will shatter my Rush Albums.
Well, maybe not the Rush Albums. They're awesome.
Be afraid Canada.
Be very afraid...