Burning bright in a sea of glowing color.
You were bigger than the others.
A gentle giant.
Don't look at me like that with your C-Span eyes.
You had me at Hola.
We have no room for you. Too much clutter. We already have two babies.
Stop it! You know how I love Infomercials. That was a dirty trick.
One Hundred weeks and free shipping? Who says you can't buy happiness?
I want you. I need you. I feel dirty.
We like the same things; Football, Hockey, Planet of the Apes.
How will I tell my wife? She'll be jealous. I don't want to hurt her.
I heard a rumor. Is it true you're fifty inches?
Ohhhhh. Naughty.
I've never had one that big.
You know what they say?
We could do it from every angle. That's your thing, right?
I like to watch.
If I take you now, we could be together by the weekend.
Easy like Sunday Morning. Just like the song.
I don't even know your name.
Shhhhhh. Don't say a word.
I'm going to take you home.
I don't care if I have to pay for it.
It's worth it.
You can't put a price on happiness.
Bigger is definitely better.
Now that we're together, I won't be Out-Numbered any longer...
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22 comments:
Brilliant! And very funny!!!
Sweet! Once you have Plasma, you never go back.
OMG, I'm first! I don't think I've ever been first!
Oh I am jealous, mine is only 32".. Love when they are big like that.
Enjoy your new love affair...
I feel cheated, robbed of my Monday AM ritual. This was lame. Cop out.
"The Other One"
I was there for you since you were married. You and your wife both turned me on and off. Over and over again... for years. 10 Years ago, I was big & stylish. Heads turned over my size. Eyes didn't squint to see me in action. But now, you find comfort in another. And a cheaper one, at that. Well, instead of you kicking me to the curb, I have found a new home. You know what, I am loved again. Oh, and by the way-- I always hated the Chargers. What kind of guy in New York likes the San Diego Chargers, anyway?
I NEED those fifty inches!
Hey Jason, I feel your pain as I too never thought that I would have three boys and be so outnumbered.
Very well written. Finally you have a partner in crime. The double entendres were on point and funny!
Size certainly matters, and the bigger the better. Best wishes to the happy couple. And, remember, you can continue to look - there's no law against that! Plus, over time, she might be open to bringing another one, or two, into the mix!
Very nice! I went out camera shopping this weekend and instead almost bought a new TV myself - they had 18 months zero percent. Then I realized my wife would kill me if I bought yet another TV. I've already conned her on the 'need' to upgraded twice in five years. Football is so much better when you're watching it on big screen like that in the comfort of your own living room.
Oh you dirty, dirty boy. LMAO
Enjoy your new tv. I'm only a little jealous of you.
Yep, I just recently made the conversion to HD. A whole new world, really.
Hahahaha. I'll never look at my television the same way again. Thanks!!
it is big and beautiful!
YUV!
I want one . . . and not even to watch football on!
Very clever! We got an HD, and resisted the plasma. But they do call to you. Enjoy!!!
oooooo nice.
Well played.
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This is great.
We have one. The wife (me) said we absolutely didn't need it, but loves it now. But ssh.
You never cease to amaze me.
At first I didn't know where this was going. As I continued to read I suspected it was your new T.V..
You are so funny.
Mom
Oh, you'll still be outnumbered, but it will be easier to get lost in all those male type of programs with that huge thing you call a plasma TV. Thanks for the laughs.
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