I am not a Superhero. I am a Father and a Husband. I am a "Fusband". I have no mutant powers to speak of. I am mere mortal. I do have a weakness. Every Fusband does. This weakness is my Kryptonite. I am defenseless against its evil. I am crippled by its potent energy. It will tear me to pieces if I do not protect myself. In order to shield my vulnerable body from this raw, unyielding, puissance; I have built a Fortress of Solitude.
Its walls are as sturdy as solid concrete; as thick as the ancient pyramids. The door from which my enemies can gain access, could withstand the pounding of a battering ram, heaved by one hundred knights. It is even equipped with an advanced control system, that allows me to filter out high pitched, ear piercing, transmission signals, that can do irreparable damage to my brain. I have hidden compartments that house supplies, essential to my survival. I even have a self sufficient captains chair, that is built for comfort and functionality.
Nothing can touch me in my Fortress of Solitude.
No harm will be done unto me.
I am safe.
I am sound.
If only for a moment...
I will not be Out-Numbered by any Nemesis in my Fortress of Solitude...